BUCK: Clay, where are the cat photos, my man? We haven’t had many cat photos lately.

CLAY: Well, first of all, my wife and our producer, Ali, text back and forth cat photos. These cats are destroying my house. They just tear things apart. My wife is furious when the boys break anything in the house — and you can imagine with three young boys, there’s always wrestling and things getting broken. The cats destroy everything, and they get away with it. Zero responsibility at all. So there is tension now in the house over that interaction.

BUCK: Do you put little cat costumes on the cats? Does your wife go to that length? Does one of your cats get a little Spider-Man costume or a little Fauci lab coat?

CLAY: (laughing)

BUCK: That cat, I wouldn’t like.

CLAY: I don’t think she’s done that because the last Halloween party last year, we had an issue with the cats. The cats can’t go outside, right? But there’s tons of people going in and out. So the cats escaped, and we weren’t sure where they were. It’s a major calamity in the house every time the cats disappear. So far, they haven’t gotten out. So, I think the cats are gonna be locked up so that they can’t interact around Halloween. I don’t think they’ll be in costumes at all.

BUCK: Do you have a favorite, by the way?

CLAY: No.

BUCK: Are you allowed to pick among your cats, or do you love your cats equally?

CLAY: I am anti-cat.

BUCK: Whooooa.

CLAY: I would not have had cats.

BUCK: Clay Travis!

CLAY: Yes. I would not have had —

BUCK: Mediaite is gonna take that one, buddy.

CLAY: I would not have had cats in the house. Like a lot of people out there during this whole covid mess, we added family cats because my kids and my wife advocated for it and I get outvoted four to one on the cat front. So, I would have no cats in the house if it were my choice.

BUCK: Man. All those people that thought you were their brother in cat ownership.

CLAY: No.

BUCK: And now you’re telling us all you’re a dog guy.

CLAY: Well, not only that, we got the Bengal cats which are hypoallergenic so they don’t create major allergy issues. The cats cost me like a thousand dollars each. I was in disbelief. I think there’s inflation in cat prices and dog prices because everybody’s trying to buy them all right now. This is why I can’t stop working, Buck, because my family spends money like drunken sailors.

I’ve said this a lot. I wish I could come back as either my wife or one of my sons for a second life, because I’m out here working 20 hours a day and they got all of the benefits and none of the stress. It’s an amazing life to be a Travis boy — or my wife would probably say it’s an awful experience to be married to me for almost 20 years. But I think they got pretty good lives.

BUCK: Now, let’s take a turn for a moment here towards just one quick thing, Clay. When I asked about English Bulldog and French Bulldog breeders on air? I actually put in kind of a request for a friend of mine who was breeding his Frenchie. It turned out their Frenchie only had one, and they kept the one. But I was gonna have a Frenchie as of this fall. That was the idea.

CLAY: Yes.

BUCK: But I got so many responses. It’s amazing. I say to this audience, “Hey, guys, I need to know what special little screw that goes in the black of Black Hawk rotor is,” and you’ll get 50 guys who are like, “I’m Black Hawk mechanic 117th Aviation,” right away, and with the dog breeders, I was inundated with people saying, “I’ve got Frenchies. I’ve got bulldogs.” So nice. I appreciate that, and I am gonna be getting one this spring. I gotta put a marker down.

CLAY: What does a bulldog cost? Did you look at the pricing?

BUCK: Bulldogs are really expensive.

CLAY: I have no idea. What does a bulldog cost?

BUCK: The French bulldogs, because they are French, cost a whole lot of money. If you were to buy one from a standard breeder, they’re usually about $4,000.

CLAY. Oh, my God!

BUCK: Yeah.

CLAY: $4,000.

BUCK: Remember Lady Gaga, someone stole her two Frenchies.

CLAY: So, the French bulldog is the most expensive in the bulldog family? Is that accurate?

BUCK: Yeah. English —

CLAY: What does the French bulldog versus another brand? How are they different?

BUCK: I think the English bulldog you probably pick one up for about… Again, these are city prices. There are people who are like, “Buck, I live in Nebraska; we’ll give you a dog for 300 bucks,” right, or for free or whatever. But the city prices on this — meaning if you go to a breeder within driving distance, not just of New York, but New York, Dallas, Los Angeles, Houston, places like that.

CLAY: Big cities.

BUCK: Big cities. You’re looking probably a couple of grand for an English bulldog and four grand for a Frenchie. But the blue Frenchie type — not breed, the blue Frenchies — can go for more. Clay, there’s a guy in my building told me he paid $10,000 for his French bulldog —

CLAY: (whispers) Oh, my God.

BUCK: — and that French bulldog I’m telling you looks at me all the time and it’s like, “Get out of my way, peasant.” You know? That is a fancy dog.

CLAY: $10,000 for dogs?

BUCK: Yeah. I just want to know how he got the little blue Frenchie to walk around with the beret and the little cane that he hits the peasants like me with whenever I get in the way — and a little monocle, too.

CLAY: Ten grand. I knew it was gonna be expensive, but I don’t feel as bad paying as much for these cats as I did now.

BUCK: So, there you go, man. See? By the way, $1,000 for a cat. I don’t feel that’s that crazy, although you probably could have just gone into an alleyway in Nashville and picked up a cat.

CLAY: Certainly, there are a lot of those, but they wouldn’t be hypoallergenic. We’ve got two brothers that are destroying the house. I’m ready to put them up for adoption.

BUCK: I think I’ve given you a great idea too. I think, Mrs. Travis, you guys should get (laughing) little costumes for the cats.

CLAY: I hope she’s not listening, because that definitely will happen. She’s probably thought of it given all the Halloween we do.

BUCK: Are you kidding? She’s probably got it all ready to go. She’s laughing at us right now. She’s got cat costumes for the kitties. We were gonna talk about Jen Psaki making fun of legitimate questions.

CLAY: We’ll talk about that tomorrow. We got plenty of time.

BUCK: We’ll get to that tomorrow. Sometimes you gotta talk about “cats and dogs living together — mass hysteria,” folks.