ANNOUNCER VOICE: The Case of the Classified Docs that just kept turning up — everywhere.

(restaurant noise)

WAITER: Mr. President, it has been an absolute pleasure serving you this evening, but, sir, there’s documents in the bill you just paid.

AIDE: Mr. President, I was walking Commander on the South Lawn and it appears he had some digestive issues and I couldn’t use a doggy bag. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he ate some… documents?

VALET: Mr. President, I was doing laundry and found a bunch of documents stuffed in some socks and pants.

BIDEN impersonation: There’s no “There, There!” That was Sandy Berger. Hey, KJP, get Hunter on the phone.

HUNTER: Hello Dad, have you seen my laptop?

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