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Clay and Buck

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Hochul Solves Crime! Declares Times Square Gun-Free Zone!

31 Aug 2022

Well, that was easy! Why did nobody think of this before, America? New York’s unelected governor, Democrat Kathy Hochul, just solved the record crime at the Crossroads of the World by declaring Times Square — henceforth and forever — a gun-free zone!

Now, some of you are gonna say, “Hold on! This is dumb,” and you’re right. Here’s Hochul in her own words:

“What else did the Supreme Court do to jeopardize safety in our streets, which is the only way you can — the only conclusion you can draw from what they did? They said that those who have concealed carry permits can pretty much take them anywhere they want! In response, we had to come up with a list of sensitive locations where guns are prohibited. These sensitive locations will include schools, colleges, day cares, libraries, restaurants that serve alcohol — other places — parks, places people visit, work, and also we added Times Square!”

Oh, okay! Surely the bad guys are gonna see the “No Guns Allowed” sign and say, “Whoa! Kathy Hochul is scary. I don’t want to mess her.” It’s the dumbest policy you’re gonna hear about today.

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