BUCK: I would put this out there for everybody. When you’re giving a toast or a speech, the one thing that I always tell anybody who asks me for advice… We’re two guys who, we do a lot.
CLAY: We talk for a living.
BUCK: We’ve done a lot of radio before this, and we do a lot of talking, right? No one ever says, “Wow, I wish that had been a lot longer.” I’m just saying, if you keep it short with the toasts or with the speech at the wedding, it doesn’t even have to be that good. People go, “Oooh,” and, “There’s just this person respects our time, is not making a us shift in our chairs.”
When you take out the 10 pages of handwritten front-and-back notes that are like (impression), “I met Susie when I was in the ninth grade and she was my best friend and we are together all the time and then I wrote a joke but, oh, wait I read it weirdly, and then I…” This is what happens at these we could see and everyone sits there and it’s so cringe. Keep it short. Keep it sweet. That’s my advice for everybody.
CLAY: That is great advice. The other thing I would say is don’t go too inside basketball. Don’t tell… When you’re doing a toast, you want to be able to connect with the entire room, right? So, telling a story about when you were in tenth grade together, unless it is part of the metaphor of a larger relationship, you’ve gotta be careful there.
The other thing I will say is — and this is fun for anybody who goes to a wedding. Think about it: Every single male toast about how much he likes the girl, if you close your eyes, it could also be part of a restraining order. “He refused to take no for an answer. When she said she didn’t want to date, he showed up outside; he sent flowers for 50 days in a row.”
Close your eyes and think about it, the difference between a successful marriage and something that spirals out of control, it will entertain you a little bit. Just think about it. I’ve been to so many weddings. Close your eyes and think about it.
BUCK: (silence)
CLAY: Was that too dark to go into the weekend?
BUCK: I think you and I have some different friends. (laughing)
CLAY: No, no, no. You just gotta close your eyes and think about it. The girl always wants for the guy to have to work hard, right, to get her to go out on a date, to end up together, and it ends well. But if you close your eyes, it could be totally different. But I’m gonna say this. When you are in Vegas — and I’m about to go play in this poker hand here with all the celebrities — my kids, Buck, are rooting against me in favor of a YouTube impresario.
BUCK: If you lose the deed to your house, Mrs. Travis is gonna be very upset if you lose it to MrBeast.
CLAY: She’s already told me she’s gonna super angry.
BUCK: Very angry.
CLAY: Or Ted Cruz.
BUCK: If you lose it to Cruz, at least it will be, “Well played, Senator.” If you lose the deed to your house in this poker game to MrWhatever, MrBeast, Clay —
CLAY: MrBeast, 66 million.
BUCK: — then you’re gonna need to take a couple days off the show to recoup. So you fight hard, and you fight strong.
CLAY: Indeed. Enjoy the wedding. Congratulations to your brother.
BUCK: Thank you.
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