C&B Parody! MAD: Mask Anxiety Disorder

BUCK: We want you to know, Mask Anxiety Disorder, it’s very real, folks. It’s out there. You see this all over the place. So here’s a PSA we put together for you on it.

ANNOUNCER: Do you suffer from MAD, Mask Anxiety Disorder, that feeling of complete paranoia brought on by the sight of an uncovered face? Symptoms including being triggered by somebody unmasked, and the uncontrollable urge to be a “Karen,” only associating with the double mask (bonus if they have a face shield), and ending every social media post with #MasksForever. Other sides of MAD, include contradictory behavior. Ask yourself: Do you wear a mask when outside?

WOMAN: Always! Even when alone.

ANNOUNCER: While eating.

WOMAN: At the table, you’re safe. Everyone knows that.

ANNOUNCER: In the shower.

MAN: Duh, like, wear a waterproof one.

ANNOUNCER: If left untreated, MAD can spiral into a loop of self-righteous virtual signaling, and before you know it, your mask is loaded up with liberal slogans and you’re a troll. But there’s hope! Mask Anxiety Disorder can be cured by logic and common sense. If you or someone you know suffers from MAD, just listen to Clay Travis and Buck Sexton. Give it a week. Let rationality sink in, and they’ll eventually take it off — or at least pull it down. Clay Travis and Buck Sexton: Removing one mask at a time, until we’re all free.

BUCK: Oh, yeah!

CLAY: That’s well done by the staff. Well done by the crew there. That is fantastic. We’ll share that on social, by the way, some of you enjoy it and want to be able to spread the gospel, so to speak, widely and far.

BUCK: We’re having fun with it, but I do think that it actually is a manifestation of an anxiety disorder.

CLAY: Oh, absolutely.

BUCK: The behavior makes no sense. What’s really made me think, the people who say, “Oh, my kid likes it!” You see parents saying this online.

CLAY: Psaki said that! They don’t mind.

BUCK: These people are crazy. They’re actually… I don’t know what other word to describe them with. They are actually crazy. There’s something wrong with them. Someone wants me to mask up; I want to shout at them with profanity. It’s not okay.

CLAY: And, by the way, I think the analogy of a security blanket — because I’ve had kids who all wanted a security blanket, they carried them around; it helped to make them comfortable — is the perfect analogy for what we’re seeing adults engage in. And, by the way, if you believe that your mask makes you safer and you want to carry around your mask — a.k.a. your nana, a.k.a. your security blanket — that’s your right to do it.

You can also carry around a little teddy bear too. That’s your right. I’m not gonna be like, “Oh, my God,” but you don’t get to tell me that I have to do it. And that’s what gets missed so much in all of this discussion. If you want to be double vaxxed and then you want to get triple boostered and then you want to get quadruple boostered, fine.

Buck, the front page of the New York Times the other day said that there are people who are hypochondriacs, people who are super nervous, that have already gotten five or six boosters! They just keep going back to get another booster. That’s a form of psychosis also likely to be rendering your overall protection lower. But these are the people that we are enabling and encouraging in their anxiety.

BUCK: And again, where is Rochelle Walensky on this? Where is Dr. Fauci?

CLAY: Yup.

BUCK: Why aren’t they out there telling people, “Hey, there’s these reports…” They’ll make fun of ivermectin. They’ll say it’s a horse drug or whatever, a horse dewormer. People in the establishment will make all these comments even about… Remember when hydroxychloroquine and a fish tank food and there’s this whole thing about people are eating fish tank cleaner and it was all crap?

CLAY: Yeah.

BUCK: But that got national news coverage. People getting four shots, getting five shots? This is crazy. Right? This is like at some point, they just have to understand: This is not rational, and it should be spoken about in this way. You see in Fauci, they’ve created this system of… It’s almost like a social credit system with how extreme you are over your anti-covid measures. More is always better, so the best among us are those who basically go full haz-mat suit plus face shield, double mask inside it. Don’t touch anything without rubber gloves, have the hand sanitizer. Why are they still giving out hand sanitizer on planes? It does nothing.

CLAY: (laughing) I got a good question. I got a good question at OutKick. I do an anonymous mail bag, try to, every Tuesday. And somebody said, “Hey, I’m going to a wedding, and they’re requiring proof of vaccination in order to go.” Not the venue, like you had to deal with, Buck, when your brother got married, but the actual bride and groom are requiring vaccinations. I just said, “Take a step back.” Imagine if it were, let’s say, January of 2020.

You were going to a wedding, and they were saying, “Hey, we want to make sure you’ve gotten your measles, mumps, and rubella vaccine. You’re gonna have to show up at the wedding with your vaccine card from when you were a kid,” you would have thought they were crazy. If you had heard anybody was going to be requiring vaccines… Think about how transformative things have gotten that this — which is utterly, utterly absurd relative to all of human history, right?

We’ve never lived in an era, Buck, where in order to go into a restaurant you’ve had to prove anything. Other than wearing a shirt and shoes or no service or whatever, I can’t remember there being any rule to go into a restaurant. Now if you’re trying to go to McDonald’s in San Francisco, you have to show me your covid vaccine card. We never required that for measles, mumps, and rubella which are far more common among kids, for instance, right? Never required it.

BUCK: The state is forcing people, the big S state — now the federal government, the Biden regime – -is forcing people to take a medical risk. By the way, there’s pain. I remember when I got. There’s pain associated with it. There’s physical discomfort. That’s for almost everybody, right? Your arm is kind of tender and swollen for a few days. They’re forcing people to endure physical pain to go about normal, everyday aspects of their lives or else.

“You must take these risks that you don’t want to take or else you get fired from your job.” This is not just a question of, “Oh, the vaccines and the state versus the federal government.” There’s also the fundamental transformation of the relationship between citizen and government that’s going on here. If they can force you to do this, what can’t they force you to do?

CLAY: It’s well said. It’s why the Supreme Court needs to sack up.